


Blank Space

by kaikitkat



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: FirstNeLux, M/M, NeLux, Netherland/Luxembourg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 23:44:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3507083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaikitkat/pseuds/kaikitkat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Luxembourg gains independence from Netherlands, then only he realises how much he had loved him and what his ex Francis meant by “My only wish is that your path clears out soon before it’s too late”. But what will Netherlands react when he finds out Luxembourg loves him? Will he throw away his love like a trash or does he feel the same?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blank Space

**Author's Note:**

> Jasper Smit = Netherlands  
> Alain Schmit = Luxembourg  
> Marie Peeters = Belgium  
> NeLux   
> Please leave feedback for my writing improvements

_Tip Tip_

 

One by one, the rain started to pour, penetrating the grounds and the roofs of Luxembourg. Every raindrop of water felt like hammers in miniature.  

In one of the dark room, there lay a man in his bed, struggling to fall asleep, struggling to handle the fluttering heart to calm down and struggling to convince himself that he had **not** fallen for anyone. He was not an ordinary man. He was Alain Schmit. He was Luxembourg himself.

 

Alain squeezed his sea green eyes tightly, trying his best to get a good night sleep in this mid-night summer but instead, he hastily opened his long crystal green eyes wide open again, with some hint of blush. _Why not someone else? Why **HIM**? _ He shifted his icy blonde bangs that covered his right eyes with his slender fingers that uncovered his pale bony cheek hidden inside. He continued looking straight towards the chandelier that hung from the ceiling above him. _Why him?_ With every thought, he could hear his heart infiltrating from his chest, faster and faster, with the blush getting brighter and brighter.

 

The bed creaked a little when he moved to his side, holding onto his blanket tight. _This dam rain…_ He sighed heavily as he looked outside his corner-to-corner window. He stretched forward to his fingertips to get his phone from the table beside him. Without any conscience, the Luxembourgian went through his phone, quickly texting someone and placed his phone down. _Maybe he is sleeping?_ He waited patiently for a reply, with the rose forming more.

 

_Buzzz_ his phone vibrated. He looked up his phone to see a new message. His lips parted, unable to move or breathe for a while. His stomach tighten like a knot.

 

_‘I’m coming.’_

 

He chuckled a little, covering his fired up cheek with his phone from embarrassment. Idiot. He thought. How was he going to re-act when he came here? He didn’t care.

 

_‘What about the meeting tomorrow?’_ He texted quickly. He placed the phone beside him and covered his face with the white blanket. The humidity started to build up on him. Was is it because of the embarrassment or was it because of the cover? He couldn’t answer.

 

_Buzz_. Another text came through his phone, vibrating the soft like an Angel’s feather bed. He looked up his phone again.

 

_‘Bought some clothes with me...mind opening the door for me?’_ Alain bewilderment for good 4 to 5 second before he could even reacts. He jumped out of his cosy, warm bed to the cold marble flooring; aroused from the excitement to see the man he desired the most. Through the double French designed staircase that curved towards the front door in the dim front room that reflected the marble from the dim light of chandelier, he opened the door. There stood a tall man, blonde hair fixed up straight, amber green eyes fixed at his own deep-sea eyes. He wore a long blue and white striped scarf tied around his neck, while he wore navy blue trench coat hiding the broad shoulder of the man.

 

“Jas-” Alain’s soft and air like voice was cut off by the man that stood in front of him like a wall. Eyes hindering to look away but failing. Slender hands trying to touch the other nation but struggling.

 

“I’m tired. Can you make me some coffee?” The Dutch growled and helped himself inside, making the small Luxembourgian to hunch back in the tiny space. Alain hastily closed and locked the door securely to stop the cold air coming inside his mansion. “Can you bring it upstairs?” He continued his way up the curved stairs, balancing his body on the black metallic handrail. One hand holding his blue luggage and on the other… Alain couldn’t figure out what the Dutch was holding in his left hand as he saw the Dutch fade away in the shadows of his own house. He narrowed his eyes from the disappointment feel that a child would get when they were denied to get a treat from their parents, to his pitch white marble flooring. He could see the fragments of water trail from the droplets of rain that poured down from the heaven above. He could also see something vivid. What was it? He intrigued. He kneeled down on the cold flooring to see different colours of tulips petals. From yellow to pink and cream to variegated tulips, each colour meaning different. He picked up the fragile petals on his slender hands. He looked up again towards the stairs. _‘Is he drunk?’_

 

Alain walked up the stairs, holding a cup of strong coffee that the French nation had haughtily suggested him to drink some months ago. He wasn’t sure why as everyone knew that he wasn’t a fan of drinking coffee. In each step he could feel cold-water droplets and soft petals of the Tulip against his slender feet.  He shivered. He walked down the painting he had painted, many of some being the painting of the Dutch, hung on the walls of his corridor. He walked down the never-ending corridor until he could see the room that emitted light from the gaps of the doors. He pushed the door slowly as the door opened, exposing his own spacious room. His eyes sunk from the brightness of the room in contrast with the darkness he was walking in.

 

He didn’t have much in his room. A window that ran from one corner to another and faced towards the horse riding fields and rich red curtains to close. A Swedish crafted glossy wardrobe that was attached with the walls of the room, a small lamp table and red leather sofa from Italy with tall lamp on each side. A bed frame stood up before the king size bed that would even bring the French design to shame with enormous chandelier hanging from the top. There in his bed laid the giant Dutch men who insisted the Luxembourgian to make a cup of coffee for him while he lay on the other nation’s soft bed.

 

Alain placed the cup on top of the tea table and sat on his bed. He could hear the heavy breathing of the Dutch, falling into his lullaby sleep. He noticed that the other nation was still wearing his drenched clothes from before and had fallen asleep on them. Piteously he insisted and hesitated to wake up the calm and soundless nation from his slumber but he had to wake him up. He shook the nation’s body spasmodically in attempt to wake them up from their slumber but only moans and figitation were given in return. He knew that the Dutch wouldn’t give up easily. He sighed. _He can sleep here; I will sleep in one of the guest room._ Alain stood up to leave but the Dutch mumbled.

 

_“Alain...please...stay”_ The Dutch’s hoarse and tired voice pleaded as he mumbled in his sleep. _“Please, stay with me. Don’t leave me. Please! It’s lonely...without you”_

 

Alain stood there in shock and confound. Alain awed and smiled softly, as soft tint of blush forming on his corner of his cheek. _Why do you do this to me? Why do you make me suffer?_ Alain sat down and lay his beside the Dutch man, facing the innocence of the man in front of him. He placed his hand on the sooth skin of other nation’s face. _Why do I love you so much?_ Alain closed his own eyes slowly as the light started to fade and the lullaby covered his mind.

* * *

Alain awoke alone by the chippering of the birds and the whinny sound of his horses. As he sat down, he could no longer see the man he desired beside him. He felt demoralize by the thought. _Maybe it was just a disillusion?_ He thought before legging down to his kitchen as gnawing pain of hunger started to build up.

Before getting to the kitchen, he could smell something sweet. Something familiar. Something..."waffles? " He interrogated.

 

"Goedemiddag” A familiar voice answered. Alain walked down to his kitchen to see the Dutch making the last waffle. He could see by the looks that he had woke up early and was getting the breakfast ready for both nation.

 

Luxembourg smiled graciously. " Gudde Moien. Do you need some help?" Alain asked as he looked around the room perplexedly. The smell of freshly made waffle and the sweet smell of maple syrup made his stomach grumble louder than before.  Alain’s cheek redden by noticing how loud his stomach had grumbled and how the other nation could easily hear.

 

Jasper glanced at him, noticing the hint of rose around the younger nations cheek. "You can make some coffee" Alain nodded in agreement as he knew how much the Dutch loved his coffee. Warm and strong. He quickly made the coffee for the Dutch and a cup of tea for himself and placed it on top of oak table.

 

He sat patiently on his chair, drinking tea like a little boy drinking milk as he looked outside towards his racing field. It was a great day. The rain had stopped from the night and the sun was out, shimmering, shining and splendid in every territories of Luxembourg. Soon, the Dutch nation bought 2 plates and one big pile of waffles stacked together and a bottle of maple syrup. Without leaving any precious time, Alain helped himself with some warm waffles and spluttered maple syrup from the top.

 

Luxebourgian’s face changed from neutral to one happy-go-lucky smile. “Oh my god Jasper, these are the best waffles I had for a while. Seriously. You should move in with me so I can have this everyday... ” Alain paused, remembering he hadn’t replied from last night. The older nation grunted first before opening his own mouth.

 

“Anyway, about that text…” Jasper continued eating as he asked the question, making the Luxembourgian pause his eating for a while, making his rose like lips separate.  What did he expect? A simple _yes_ and they’d live happily ever after or _no_ and he’d cry his eye out like always. The entire question wander around in his head like a voice in an empty room. Jasper noticed how the smiley brightly coloured faced had gone into a plain dull and conventional face.“Alain?” Alain glanced at those melted green eyes, just like summer breeze.

 

“Uh… nevermind about that…you don’t have to say anything…forget about it” he looked down on his plate as he continued eating the waffles one small bite at a time. By looking up from his narrowed down head, he noticed that the base on the table was decorated with different colour tulips. _Did he bring that?_  He glanced at the man before him. _For me?_ He could feel the warmth of his cheek getting warmer and warmer.

 

“You still wear those bunny pyjamas when you sleep, huh?” the Dutch finally smirked and laughed, making the other nation felt more reluctant and embarrassed. At this point, if anyone compared the redness of the cheek of the Luxembourgian, it would even bring the rooster’s crown to shame. _It reminds me of you. Reminds me of the rabbit you own._

 

Breakfast was long and painful as indigenous conversation started to rise from past and how coyly the older and younger nation would hold hands. Even so, the only partial relief the Luxembourgian got was when the Dutch would go and refill his coffee. He knew that however the way the Dutch responded, his heart wouldn’t be able to comprehend the feels.

 

After doing all the dishes, the Luxembourgian had determined to get ready for the meeting and go around to his stable to check on his two grey Holsteiners that he had adored. He wore his usual blue pinstripe dress shirt with a white vest, black tie, black gloves, tall dark boots, and white khaki pants. He had taken out his matching white blazer and handed to the Dutch, who just watched the Luxembourgian, giving his horse some hay to eat before going to the meeting.

 

Leaning against the darken and damp wood, Jasper coughed lightly, making the Luxembourgian stop and turn towards the leaning Dutch.  "Are you alright Jasper? You’re coughing. Is it from _yesterday?_

 

“No. It's nothing." Jasper rubbed his bright red like Rudolph’s nose, coughing and echoing the damp stable. His head was starting to burden him but he couldn’t tell the nation in front of him as it will only make him worry can skip the meeting. “You know they can’t run if you give them that much hay.” Jasper commented. Alain glared at the older nation for a while then continued stacking more hay in front of his horse.

 

“But...but I’m so fat and my horses will need extra energy to keep me on their back.” Alain rubbed and patted the beast’s chin as it neighed and whine. The thing Alain didn’t notice was that the Dutch was standing right behind him. With one scoop, the Dutch covered Alain’s body and scooped him up like a kid. “Wait...what?!”

 

“You’re light as a feather.” The Dutch chuckled cunningly. The younger nation pleaded as his leg waggled on the thin warm air to find a safe ground to stand. “Anyway we should get going. If we waste anymore time, we will be late for the meeting and you know how much Germany hates when people are late for meeting.” The huge nation still holding the small nation on his hand walked out the stable. Alain could feel his heart beating faster with the touch of the older nation, struggling to breathe or think from the pleasing hand that covered him. Soft, warm and homely. He looked up other nation’s broad chin.

 

_I got a blank space baby and I’ll write your name._

* * *

“...and this is my idea to help our economy and health rate on our countries.” America said from the podium. The American either ignored or didn't notice the groans from England and France, who would do anything to disagree with America. “We can make this super healthy burger for people in really low price so everyone can buy them so they are become more healthy and we still get money. All the vegetables and salads will originally make the burger but we add this potion that _I_ have created that will make it taste like real meat! See, so genius.”

 

“That’s an amazing thing Mr.America!” Japan said, feeling profound by America’s idea of helping both economy and health levels.

 

“I disagree.” The English nation commented in a moderated tone with big thumbs down as he frowned.

 

“Honhonhon but Angleterre, everyone knows you agree with him in bed” Francis teased while playing with his beautiful and slush blonde locks. By the lethal glare Arthur was giving to the French nation, Francis knew that he had dug his own grave and had to add something to prevent from his death. Was it Francis hallucination or reality, he was pretty sure that he just saw some kind of black creature behind the Briton that chilled his spinal chores.  “Mais, Je suis d'accord avec l'Angleterre.” Finally, Francis agreed with the English nation and continued. “Your plan won’t work Etats Unis. How do you expect people to eat such thing?”

 

“But...but…” Alfred's voice lowered down from anguish but quickly brighten up. “But when Arthur tried that last night, he said it tasted like an actual meat.”

 

“Maybe he was sucking an actual meat!! Kesesesese” The ex-nation added with his infuriating laughter. Canada elbowed the albino to keep quiet as the Canadian could still remember what they were doing last night and flushed by his lover’s comment. “What’s wrong Birdie?” Matthew shook his head heavily, trying to make the blush disappear from its existence.  

 

The door slowly opened, leaving two figures stand still. The room went quiet like than the falling snow in mid-night. Every eye in the room was placed at the two new men who’d just joined the meeting.

 

“Jasper, Alain, Vous êtes enfin là.” The loud Belgian finally broke the silence as she greeted her companion. She had stood up and waved towards the two men, trying to indicate the two seats beside her. The two men kept silence and walked towards the Belgian to seat on their dedicated places.

 

“Is it just me or those two look like they just eloped from a wedding but Netherlands got punched on his nose by Luxembourgian soon to be husband?” Francis whispered in the Briton’s ear. Not exactly whispered as everyone on the room could hear his commentary from every corner of the room.  Francis lurked at the Luxembourgian, who was coying on his own place “Je ne lui dérange...se remettre ensemble”

 

“Ahem! You know France, if you have something to share then you can always feel free to share it with us as well.” The Cynical American pointed out. “And what was what? _Je ne lui..”_

 

“Non. Non. Non. Ce n'est rien!!” Francis faced Alfred in tormented facial expression.

 

“I’m sorry we are late. I insisted to go and feed the horses. It’s not Netherlands fault.” Francis looked towards the direction the voice came from. It was the Luxembourgian who had stood up and apologised on his soft and melodic voice to every nation that was present. “I’m sorry.” Alain looked down, feeling guilty.

 

“Ja. Don’t worry.” The German nation tried to calm himself down, force smiling, not trying to pull and nerve and go in a rampage. Ludwig had actually promised the Italian that we would try his best to not lose his temper in the meeting. “We were going to have a short break anyway. So...why don’t we all have a break? Ja?” Everyone in the room nodded, leaving the Luxembourgian bewildered for a while.

 

“Oui. Hey Alain, seat down.” The Belgian elbowed the Luxembourgian. “Actually, do you want something? J'ai faim!! Jasper, do you want something?” She asked again to her other companion. The Dutch just glared at the Luxembourgian and nodded.

 

“Let’s go Alain.” Jasper stood, holding the other nation’s slender hand, pulling the other nation out from his place. He could feel the pondering of his head building up from the pain but he chooses not to say it. “God it’s so chilly. I thought it was summer? Nee? Let’s get something warm to drink.” Alain just followed the Dutch like a good kid.

 

As they tried to walk out from the room, Francis quickly stopped the three nations, making the Dutch let go of Alain’s hand quickly.

 

“Honhonhon mi amour, Alain. Long time no see. You look more beautiful every time I see you and regret breaking up with you” Francis tried to hold the Luxembourgian hand but the other nation flinched, taking the hand away from the French. “Why can’t you forget about _him_ and move on?” Francis brushed his lush, shiny blonde hair. “It’s not like _he...”_ Francis quickly glanced at the Dutch. “...Will ever accept you.”

 

“What do you want Francis?” Alain asked, feeling disquiet and unease, standing beside the Dutch.

 

“Oh nothing. Just wanted to ask if we can go somewhere...alone.” Francis winked. “Like we did before or maybe we can even continue on from where we left.”

 

Jasper stood in front of Alain like a wall. “Go away Francis. He has nothing to do with you anymore. Past is past.” Jasper could feel his head aching more, as if someone was drilling through his skull, making it spin like merry-go-round. He could feel his feet shaking but he tried to ignore. He continued facing the French nation as if nothing happened. “It wasn’t your fault or his and how can you be so sure that _he,_ you say,doesn’t like Alain? Maybe _he_ does like Alain but _he_ is too scared to say...” Without finishing his sentence, he could feel his head blank out, eyes covering with the darkness within, not giving him any chance to say something. He could feel his head fall into the hard wooden flooring, leaving on some echo and background noise to fill his eardrum.

~~~~~~

He stood there, in his old house where Belgium, Luxembourg and he himself used to live. It was United Kingdom of Netherlands. He looked and walked around his old house, bringing back his decrepit memories. He could still remember the Coats of Arms that was embedded in every corner of the wall, signifying that it belonged to United Kingdom of Netherlands.

 

“Jasper, where are you going?” He turned around to see the blonde maiden with her wide emerald eyes. He noticed that she no longer wore the headband she wore after gaining her Independence from the first treaty of London in 19 April 1839.

 

“Belgium…” He whispered.

 

“Huh? Belgium?” Jasper noticed that Luxembourg was missing as he looked around.

 

“Oh I mean, Marie.” He corrected. She nodded. “Where is Lux-- I mean Alain?”

 

“He is outside in the garden with Francis.”  He nodded back. _But I thought they broke up?_ Without saying a word, the Dutch rushed his way outside, trying his best to remember the route of their old house. When he finally opened the doors the blocked his path, all he saw was Tulips. Tulips everywhere. Red, violet, pink, yellow, all the indigenous colours he remembered he had. He walked slowly on the path, his long scarves slowly flowing in the movement of soothing air.

 

“But why?” He could hear the familiar voice of his companion. Jasper walked towards the voice it go louder and louder.

 

“Its not you mi amour, its just I think you love him more than you love me.” Jasper could hear the heavy French accent so it was pretty recognisable for him. Walking like a thin air, once he saw the two soon-to-be ex-lovers, he hid himself behind the tree, lurking and listening to their conversation.

 

“Him? Who him? What do you mean I love _him_ more than I love you?”

 

Francis smirked. “I think you know him well enough but it’s just not clear for you right now. Anyone can tell how much you love him. More than droplets of water in the entire Ocean, more than the ray of light from the sun but its just you who can’t see him clearly from your path.” Francis kissed on top of the Luxembourgian’s head as he said his last farewell as a lover. “My only wish is that your path clears out soon before it’s too late...” He paused. “And for him as well.”

 

As the Dutch saw the French nation walk away from the Luxembourgian and the wind blew gently, picking up anything with itself. “Alain?” His voice giving the electric wave as he turned. Without any single drop of word, Alain embraced his companion tight, not leaving any space in-between, leaving the Dutch to gasp. Alain howled but nothing came from his eyes. Was it because he didn’t love Francis enough to shed tears? Or was it because he hadn’t lost _him_? Whatever it was, all Jasper wanted to do was close his eyes, wrap his hand around the slender body and never let go. It didn’t mattered what other people thought but for him, it just felt right.

~~~~~~

Jasper opened his ember green eyes wide from the horror of his own past, his body drenched on sweat, but all he saw was hanging crystal clear chandler at the top. He sat up; just to find the familiar room he had slept this morning. The same soft bed with windows wide open for the fresh air to rotate around the room and the whining noise of the horses. He noticed that his forehand felt cooler than his rest of the body for some strange reason.

 

“You are finally awake.” Jasper breathed out from the relief that he had been worrying for a while. “Why didn’t you tell me that you weren’t feeling good? I could have told them that you were sick and didn’t had to go to that boring meeting.” He picked up the towel that had feel from Jasper’s forehead when he stood up all of a sudden.

 

“Umm…”

 

“Lay down dammit. You are in no good condition to sit up.” Jasper followed what the small nation said. Alain drenched the towel again in the cold water for a while then squeezed the water out so it was dry but drenched enough to make the Dutch’s body cooler. “Thanks to Ludwig and Francis that helped me get you here.” Alain sighed. “Seriously, why didn’t you tell me that you weren’t feeling good?” The Dutch just glared at the Luxembourgian.

 

 

_Was that he I?Had he loved me unconditionally for that long? Have I also liked him unconditionally for that long? Can I fill his name in my blank space?_


End file.
